My Reason for Living
by Ritzy-authoress
Summary: If your reason for living is gone...can you still live?  InuxKag.  One shot.


**Hello guys! I know I'm supposed to be updating the other stories but this thing had to be written. It was burning a hole in my brain. So there! This is my first one-shot. I hope you like it!!**

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" Kagome! Congratulations!" Sango cried as she ran up to her best friend. Kagome turned around and gave her a hug.

"I'm so glad you could make it Sango! I don't know what I'd do without you here." Kagome whispered in her ear. Kagome and Sango had been friends since preschool. Now at Kagome's wedding it was amazing to see her there after so many years. Sango suddenly sprouted tears from her eyes and burst out sobbing.

"My little baby is growing up!" she cried into Kagome's shoulder. Kagome soothed her and told her to make herself comfortable inside the house. As Sango left Kagome walked across the garden, avoiding as many guests as she could.

Tomorrow she was to be wed. Her parents had betrothed her to a man who lived in some far off land. Then they had died. Kagome had been by herself since the tender age of 12. Not even her brother was there to help her celebrate the day. All had perished in a horrific plane crash, leaving Kagome one note and a whole lot of money. Now she had reached the right age to be married, 24, according to her parents and the only living relatives she had, had prepared a wedding. Currently the guests were streaming in from all over the globe to reside in the famous Higurashi palace and wait for the wedding. Kagome's groom hadn't yet shown up. Come to think of it Kagome didn't even know who he was. Some Bankotsu person. Her parents had never really introduced them before dying. She was going to be alone on her wedding day. Kagome sighed and headed towards a secluded corner in the little hedge she'd planted. This was her thinking spot, the one place that always gave her sanctuary.

Kagome took her spot on the bench and thought. Thought about the wedding, her groom, the future…not that it was a very promising future. Her parents had clearly stated that she was to become Bankotsu's wife and stay at home and look after the kids no matter what she might've wanted to do. Her life ended tomorrow frankly speaking. Kagome's thoughts were disturbed as she heard someone coming into the hedge.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know anyone was here." A man said as he came into view. It was Inuyasha. Inuyasha, the one man Kagome ever truly loved. Not that he knew that, not that they'd ever gone out or anything. They weren't even really friends, still Kagome loved him. More than she ever would Bankotsu anyway. But why was he here? She'd made sure not to invite him to the wedding as that would just make things even harder on her. She decided not to say anything about it.

"It's ok. I was just leaving anyway." Kagome said quickly. She got off her bench and dusted herself off. Looking up, she noticed that Inuyasha was staring at her. Her cheeks began to redden. What was wrong? Had she something on her face?

"You're beautiful." Inuyasha whispered as he moved forward to stroke her cheek. Then a look of shock came over his face and he bolted out of the hedge. Kagome was surprised. _He…he touched me_ she thought. Then she realized he'd felt. Her hand went out as if to catch his sleeve but he'd already left. Kagome sighed. What was she going to do?

Kagome awoke the next morning in her bed. Someone must've moved her since she remembered sitting out on her bench and thinking late into the night. Her stomach grumbled. _I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday. Must get food!_ At this sudden thought Kagome found the strength to get out of bed and get dressed. Maybe she could go flower picking or make something with Sango today. Then it hit her. _I'm getting married today. I'm getting married TODAY. I'm. Getting. Married. Today. Today…_ This took a moment to digest. Kagome quietly sank back down on her bed, clearly in shock. Every girl dreams of this day to come, Kagome too. But in this case it wasn't exactly a dream wedding, a shock nonetheless. Kagome blinked a few times then decided it was time to get a move on in life. She got up and headed over to her dresser to brush her silky black hair. There she found a piece of folded paper.

"What is this?" she thought aloud. She unfolded the paper to find a bunch of quickly scrawled handwriting. _It's a note. _she thought. She quickly scanned her eyes over the page, taking in the words as she went.

_I'm sorry I left you there. I should've explained why you are in your bed but I had no time and you looked too peaceful to disturb. It was me who brought you up from the garden by the way. I missed you at dinner and since no one else seemed to notice, not even your future husband, I went and got you myself. I have to say, you're marrying into a very hospitable family. That is my attempt at a funny joke. Please laugh. Well I have something to tell you. I'm sorry I never told you this before. I feel you have to know though. Here it is. I love you. I always have and I always will. I realize that you're getting married today and all but I had to tell you. Meet me at the hedge this morning. I need to talk to you. I'll be waiting._

Kagome was left flustered and anxious. Who exactly had sent her this note? She would have to go down to the hedge before breakfast and find out. That was the only thing for it. Kagome quickly got changed into a simple sundress and walked out to the gardens. Luckily no one saw her.

She stopped outside the hedge for a quick run over; she didn't want her secret admirer to see her in some weird state now did she? That's right, he was a secret admirer. Kagome had never had a secret admirer before. This took a moment to ponder. Then Kagome breathed in and out a few times before finally stepping into the hedge.

The first thing she saw was silver hair splayed out across the bench. There was Inuyasha, lying on the bench and looking at her as if she was the only human he'd seen in months. Kagome felt her heart melt under his intense gaze. He was just so…right.

"You came." He said sitting up. Kagome nodded. Inuyasha patted the spot beside him and Kagome sat down reluctantly. He looked at her for a second. Her beautiful blue eyes, the silky back hair falling over her shoulder. His eyes never strayed from her face; he looked deep into her eyes as if looking for something. Kagome's hear beat madly in her chest; she was sure he could hear it by now. Finally he seemed satisfied and looked down at the ground. "I guess I better get right to the point, you have a wedding to attend to." Kagome said nothing and looked away from his amber eyes which had their way back to her blue ones. He was really making it hard on her. Did he _have_ to put things that way?

"Kagome look at me when I tell you this. I must know that you actually heard me," Inuyasha demanded. Kagome found herself staring into his amber yes and getting lost. "Thank-you. Now, how do I put this? It's harder than I thought. Listen Kagome, I know that you love this Bankotsu guy and you guys are getting married today but you have to know this. I will never rest in peace unless you know. Kagome I love you. I always have and I always will. Even if you sign your hand over to someone else, I will continue loving you. Forever and for always. I'm convinced. Ever since I first saw you on the first day of high school my thoughts were on nothing but you. I could never think of anyone except you. All those girls I dated were my attempt at trying to get my thoughts off of you. While as you had Koga and Hojo to look after you. You never needed me, nor could I find the courage to ask you out. Now I know my mistake. I lost my chance. But you know what? I will die happy knowing that you knew that I loved you. It sets my heart at peace. Thank-you for listening. Even if you never see me again just remember these words. Even if you hate me, remember those words. I love you Kagome." Inuyasha whispered the last part and brought Kagome forward into a tight hug. Tears sprouted from both sets of eyes. Kagome sobbed into Inuyasha's shoulder. Why did he have to make it so hard for her? Why? She could never marry Bankotsu with a pure heart now. She had to tell him. She had to tell Inuyasha that she loved him too. That she always would.

"Inuyasha, my turn. Inuyasha, Inuyasha what am I going to do? You just told me that you love me. The thing is, I love you too. More than you could ever imagine. When I saw you on that first day of school I knew I was supposed to be with you. I'm sorry I never came to you. I was scared, afraid of what might've happened. Now I know that I was wrong. It is my wedding day though and I am to be married. There is something you must know though. I don't love him. I don't love Bankotsu. I've never met him in my life. I was betrothed. I'm not looking forward to this wedding. Then you showed up and all this happened. I don't know what to say. All I can think of is how much I love you and how much I always will, even if I'm married to another man. I'll always love you. Don't forget that. And don't you dare think I'm happy with him. I'm not. I'm forced. I love you. I can't say it enough. All these years without telling you are now making themselves clear. I love you, always will. Promise." Kagome said strongly. She believed everything she said, it was all completely true. Inuyasha looked at her, his eyes moist. Kagome's tears continued falling down her face. He reached out and rubbed away the wet droplets.

"Thank you." He whispered. Kagome nodded. She felt good, at peace. He finally knew. Her only regret now was not being able to marry him.

In the distance a church bell rang signifying the time. It was 8 o'clock already. The wedding would start at 11. Cries of _Kagome!_ Were heard all through the yard. Inuyasha took one look at Kagome suddenly terrified face and brought his lips down on hers. They shared what would probably the first and last kiss. Kagome's turned her attention on the kiss until Inuyasha broke it off and quickly got up and walked right out of the hedge, leaving a very stunned Kagome behind him.

"Inuyasha wait!" she cried, but in vain. He looked at her once with the saddest smile he could muster and then waked away and out of her life forever. _Good-bye my love. I wish you a happy life._ He thought.

Sango and a troop of maids burst into the hedge as soon as Inuyasha left and marched Kagome back to the castle to get ready for the wedding. Everyone seemed so excited, so into the whole thing. Kagome sat sullenly on her stool and allowed the girls to fix her up. Sango chattered on and on about this and that and which tiara would look better, unaware of her friend's obvious distress. Kagome sighed. What was she going to do? She couldn't back out of the wedding. It was impossible. She silently thanked god that Inuyasha hadn't said anything about that. The very idea made her sit up on the edge of her seat and think. What if she ran away? What if she ran away with Inuyasha? Then she remembered, her relatives, Bankotsu's relatives and all her guests were constantly watching her. Where would she find somewhere to run away? Now even her hedge had been discovered. Kagome sank back in her chair. It was useless. There was no way in hell that she'd actually be able to get away. Even if she did, it would haunt her for the rest of her life. She couldn't.

"Hey Kagome! Quite sitting back! You're ruining your hair!" one of the maids hissed. Kagome sat upright with another sigh. The maid grabbed a lock of her hair and tugged it back into an intricate design. There were such pains, these maids.

"Someone would think that you don't even want to get married. I'd die to marry that handsome Bankotsu." Another maid giggled as she curled Kagome's bangs. Kagome's eyes widened in surprise. Could she…no she couldn't. She sighed but didn't answer the maid.

It was 10:45 and the groom had reached the altar. He stood there waiting for Kagome as the guests turned around to face the grand oak door at the back of the hall. The Higurashi relatives of Kagome's who were in charge of the wedding decided to host the wedding inside the castle hall, with the reception outside. The grand hall had been decorated with beautiful white flowers. Lilies, irises, little flowers, and a bit of greenery adorned every surface including the backs of the elegantly covered chairs upon which the guests sat. They had really outdone them selves and were sufficiently proud. After all, once Kagome was married they'd win this castle and all the money that came with it. Not that Kagome knew that or anything.

The oak doors opened and the bridesmaids started walking in, each on the arm of their desired man. Sango Lin was spotted on the arm of Miroku Lin. The two had been happily married for about 4 years now. Sango took her place as the head of the bridesmaids and closest to where Kagome would stand and say her bows. Miroku moved to take his place beside Bankotsu as his best man.

The doors closed and the guests sat dejected in their seats mumbling about long and boring weddings. Sango fidgeted with her dress. She'd finally confronted Kagome after noticing that her friend was crying all through her make-up session. She knew what was wrong. And she had no idea how to fix it. She quickly scanned the crowd. Inuyasha was nowhere to be seen. She looked over at Miroku, her husband, both shared troubled glances. Miroku too knew what was wrong. After all, Inuyasha was his best friend. The wedding march came blaring through the speakers and Sango's attention snapped back to the doors. _Well here goes nothing…_

Kagome stood in the shadows of the humongous door as she quickly wiped her gloved hands which were now sweaty on her dress. Her uncle looked at her sharply and she quickly straightened up. She knew that her family didn't like her, the faster this day ended the better. The flower girl and boy stood in front of them and quietly began moving up the aisle, tossing flowers as they went. Kagome and her uncle linked arms and walked down the aisle slowly behind them. The guests gasped. It was true, they had a reason to. Kagome was ultimately gorgeous. Her white dress sparkled in the sunlight that filtered in through the long windows behind the altar. Kagome rustled her bouquet of lilies and irises before returning her attention to her groom in front of her. Sango's smiling face approached her mind but she ignored her. The rumours were true, Bankotsu was handsome. He had the plain mischievous look that always seemed to attract her. Inuyasha had that look too. No, she mustn't think of Inuyasha. This was her moment and she wasn't going to ruin it. She let go of her uncle as she reached the altar and walked up the stairs to stand face-to-face with her groom. The priest looked at the 2 of them before starting his sermon.

The moment at arrived. Kagome stood shaking as in front of her Bankotsu asked her to be his lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health. Kagome could feel the intense gaze of the guests. It was kind of like Inuyasha's had been that morning. No, not Inuyasha. He had to be locked out of her memory forever. Kagome couldn't help glancing over the crowd in search of the familiar silver haired man. No such man was in sight. In panic she turned to Sango who stood behind her and beckoned her forward. Instantly the chatter began.

"She's not going to marry him?" one said.

"Get on with already! You agreed to marry this chap after all!" another shouted.

"Where is Inuyasha?" Kagome hurriedly whispered to Sango. Sango looked worried.

"I don't know Kagome, I'm sorry. I didn't see him either." She whispered back. Kagome turned around and faced Bankotsu. She would have to go through with this. She didn't have a choice. It's what Inuyasha would've wanted.

"I do." She spoke clearly and confidently even though inside she was crumbling. Bankotsu smiled at her. She smiled back weakly. Signs of relief came from the crowd of guests. Kagome went through the rest of the ceremony quietly and seemed very tense. When Bankotsu kissed her it felt all wrong and he was much too harsh. Still Kagome didn't dare utter a squeak.

The wedding went off without a hitch. The reception was the same. Later in her private suite which she now had to share with Bankotsu, he told her something which made her forgive him for the wedding.

"Kagome. I know this is hard on you. It's hard on me too. I saw you looking for someone at the ceremony today. I know you love him. Let me tell you, I had to leave someone behind as well in order to obey my parents wishes and marry you. I'm not happy about this either. But I decided to make my parents happy. I hope that you'll accept me and that we can at least be friends. I promise to be nice to you, let's make the best of this. What do you say?" he said. Kagome's hear melted. He was a sweet guy.

She smiled.

"I think I'd like that." Bankotsu smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

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A week later Kagome went outside to fetch the paper. She saw only the headline but that was enough. It read:

_TAKAHASHI INUYASHA…DEAD!_ Kagome screamed and dropped the paper. Bankotsu came running out of the house asking her what was wrong. Kagome pointed at the paper and burst into tears. Bankotsu's eyes widened.

"Is that…" he asked. She nodded. He gave her a hug. "It's ok." He soothed. They stood like that for a long time. It took awhile for Kagome's brain to process the whole idea. Later when she actually felt brave enough to read the article she found herself lost for words.

_Takahashi Inuyasha was found in his one bedroom apartment on Tuesday morning. He had severe fatal wounds on his chest and arms. It's believed that he committed suicide. Police investigated and found a note lying on his bed. They believe that this is the reason for death. The note read:_

_I've lived my life's purpose. I told her I loved her. Now she's married. My reason for living is gone. Don't worry, I'm happy to go. I would've only been a burden. Thank-you Kagome. I wish you and Bankotsu the best life you could possibly have. _

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**Hello again! Well what do you think? Sad eh? I love the idea even if it is over used. All my ideas are over used but I still love them. So ha! Anyways..review and tell me what you think. I'd really like to know!! Oh, and that email problem hasn't been fixed yet. Anyone know anything more about that? See ya for now,**

**Ritzy-authoress**


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